I can’t tell you what happens at every Muslim women’s retreat. But I can tell you what happened at this one.

When I was asked to write this piece, the first word that came to mind was oasis.

An oasis, contrary to what most people (including myself) believed, are man made. And somehow this was even more fitting. 

Spending the weekend with a group of incredible Muslim women in Kent for 4 days, felt like reaching an oasis after walking through a desert and spending the entire time feeling parched. 

My thirst was specific and not all at the same time. I was weighed down by all the things I felt I was failing at. 

And this weekend, with these women brought together by Allah, eased it. 

I have a common refrain and disposition and it goes ‘All the markets are bad, the man market, the housing market, the supermarket, all bad’ and I was reminded on this retreat that ‘Allah’s market is abundant’. 

That was what filled me on this retreat, abundance. Abundance in hope. But abundance has to be cultivated. You have to work to make good of the things you receive from Allah. 

It was through the work we put in to waking for Tahajjud at 3am which had never felt easier. 

The meals that we shared, where we served each other in small ways. Especially the sunnah lunch, where I learnt about tayyib and to remember Allah has made excellence available to us in all things. Including our sustenance. 

The dhikr walk and forest bathing, to appreciate the stillness of the outdoors. But also how alive everything is. 

The plants of the Quran workshop which taught me a lot about letting myself think outside of trying to make everything right. 

Pilates was a way to ground ourselves and remember to care for the bodies we were given. 

I have countless other memories, like reading the translation of Surah Kahf on Friday and the lessons we each took from these verses. 

But in the quiet moments between, where we sat with each other, walked with each other, prayed next to each other, I learnt what it means to love someone for the sake of Allah. 

Western neoliberalism tells us that the individual matters the most. To know someone, you must know every granular detail of their lives. Their likes and dislikes. 

It’s not the same in Islam, and this was the first time I truly understood what that means. I didn’t know and might not ever know the intimate details of the lives of every woman on this retreat. I make dua for them anyway. For their success and ease and for retreats such as these. 

Where Muslim women get to put down the performance we put on to the outside world. 

In the UK where we can be made to feel like outsiders. In our communities when we speak up to ask for better for all of us. In our homes where our needs are not always prioritised. 

This retreat was an oasis, a moment when we performed for ourselves and Allah and that was all that mattered.